Getting the Groove Back

So it's been a few months since my last post about happiness.  Mind you, I had stories of happiness to post, but I fell into a state of procrastination, which is a side effect of being overwhelmed.  Procrastination is kind of like a thief that  breaks into your house and only steals small, seemingly insignificant things over an extended period of time.  After a while, you finally realize that somebody has been breaking into your house repeatedly and robbing you, and then you take inventory of your belongings and realize that a lot has been stolen.  Procrastination is the robber of time and one of the many thieves of happiness.

In the movie entitled 'Yes Man', the actor played by Jim Carrey challenges himself to say YES for an entire year.  It's a very funny movie and it drives home the point that by saying 'YES' more often we can expose ourselves to more joyful and fun experiences and make our lives richer and more full and hopefully more happy.

This story of happiness is from a friend of mine that lives here in Sayulita who is definitely a  'Yes Woman', yes I'm going to volunteer, yes I'm going to hit those big waves that are rolling in, yes I'm going to take that trip!, yes, yes, yes!  I think it's by no coincidence that in general she is a very happy woman, and so I share her take on happiness with you.

We all have different ideas of what happiness means.  For me, happiness is living simply, being present,

and feeling grateful for all the special moments and people in our lives.

The simplicity of life in Mexico makes it easier to be present and truly live in the moment. One of the reasons that we moved to Sayulita was to simplify our lives and to create the time to enjoy our children in their youth. Our lives are slower now and much more fulfilling.  We have gotten rid of all the ”things” that we had acquired in our household.  It was liberating to move down to Sayulita with 8 duffle bags.  There is no commuting to work or to school, no traffic to sit in, our children are not over-scheduled with activities, our days are not filled with completing “to-do” lists. I am now much more present and tuned-in to all experiences and moments than I ever was in the past.  I am grateful for this.

I think there is a direct correlation between living simply and being grateful. Recently, I came across this sign that I saw while walking down the street.  It is a very simple, rustic sign with a poignant message.  It said, “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  So often we forget that our happiness depends on ourselves.  Our thoughts and actions are the things that truly make us happy.  I believe that feeling grateful for every little thing helps us to achieve great happiness. I saw an interview with Oprah a few years ago.  The topic was the importance of having a grateful journal. The objective of the journal is to note at least 5 things each day that you are grateful for.  I love this. The act of doing this helps us to focus on all the positive things in our life and how truly grateful we should feel for having these things, experiences, and/or people in our lives.  I have yet to begin my own grateful journal but I know that I will soon. Most importantly, I will create journals for my sons.  Learning this skill of feeling grateful on a daily basis will be invaluable to them.

There are little miracles and pockets of joy that occur each day in my life.  These special

moments are the tings that make me happiest.

1.   Watching my children play, smile and laugh

2.   The kindness of a stranger helping me in a time of need

3.   The smile of a child

4.   The amazing beauty of sunrises and sunsets and how they are all so different

5.   Food made with thoughtfulness and love.

6.   The changing colors and moods of the ocean

7.   Yoga- when I am in the zone and when I am not in the zone.

8.   Listening to chickens, dogs, and the breeze blowing in the trees

9.   Grateful for having honest, loyal, and kind-hearted friends

10. Grateful for the health and well-being of my family and friends.

11.  BIG waves so I can surf my heart out.

I hope you feel inspired to shout out a big 'YES' today!  'YES' I'm going to take that class!  'YES' I'm going to drop everything and go take a road trip with my best friend.  'YES' I'll meet you for coffee!   Step out of your box, shake off the procrastination and the excuses and just say 'YES'!  I guarantee you, you'll be glad you did!..................Oh yeah, one more thing, please write me back and let me know how that worked for you!  Have fun!

Always Pride! Always Hope! Always Love!.....Always Inspired!

As some of you may know I joined the newly formed Puerto Vallarta Mens Chorus a couple of months ago, and last night we performed our very first concert called "Sing out Proud" to celebrate gay pride week.  We had a sold out show and received several cheers and accolades from the audience.  I'm calling it a huge success!

The chorus has become my refuge.  A place to go once a week and sing and be happy.  I've become united with a great group of guys and re-united with old friends and acquaintances.  It is beautiful to see the friendships and the bond among us being created.  The power of singing in unison with a group sends chills down your spine when all of you are singing in tune all at once!

Bob Bruneau, our Director, wrote a song back in 1978 entitled "Toujours Gai" which is a 'Can Can' style song which we had a lot of fun singing at last nights performance.  Here are some of the lyrics, which make up the title of today's blog entry:

Always pride, always hope, always love,

I couldn't live my life another way,

Toujours Gai, Toujours Gai,

Lifes a ball, have it all, Come what may!

I'm never down, spread sunshine all around

I'm living life so free and naturally,

Who cares what people say,

My life's a holiday!

The most important things in life are free!

One of those friendships that has been re-kindled has been with my friend Paco Ojeda.  Paco came to visit me a couple of weekends ago and we spent the weekend talking and sharing and catching up on each others lives.  Paco literally oozes creativity!   He is a very well known photographer and is Editor in Chief for the best and most important magazine here in the area called 'Vallarta Lifestyles'.  Recently he has started teaching paper mache' classes at The Cultural Center in Puerto Vallarta.  I had the privilege of  being invited to Paco's home last week, where among other things he showed off some of his videos he has created!  He's that super creative friend that one truly envies!

During Paco's visit I shared with him that I had started this blog about happiness and I asked him what happiness meant to him and here is what he said.  

"For me, it's about surrounding myself with three I's (when it comes to friends, work partners, etc.

INSPIRED

INSPIRING

INSPIRABLE

Inspired people permeate a positive energy that, when one is willing to perceive, is very nurturing.

Inspiring people are the folks that I think about when I go to bed after each day, thinking to myself "wow, I really like this about this person" and so forth.

Finally, we all go through life learning and teaching. So surrounding oneself with INSPIRABLE people, that is, folks that one can transform favorably, is the ultimate testament to being alive and having a sense of purpose."

When he spoke those words at my dining room table it really hit home and has helped me to focus more on inspiration, which leads you towards a path of happiness.

I am inspired to share with you all what my friend Rafael has to say about happiness.

My friend Rafael lives in Monterrey, Mexico with his beautiful wife and children and works as an accountant decided to answer the question, ‘How do I find happiness?’ 

As you read his thoughts on happiness you can't help but feel the love for his children, the pride in his family, and his inspiration to always be learning and his hope for a happy life for himself and his family.

I find happiness through the following:

1.       Family.  I’ve learned that my family - wife and children - is my most valuable asset.  I love them.  I’m happy when they are happy.  Receiving a hug from one of my children, for instance, gives me true happiness.  I believe that having and nurturing children is a superb experience.  Personally I’d say it’s a ‘heavenly experience’, because through very simple and daily events I’m able to feel great joy in my heart.  

2.       Investing in myself.  When I’m in the summit of a nearby mountain I feel very happy.  Hiking is one of the activities I do to invest in myself.  I also enjoy playing the piano, reading a good book or playing a good chess game.  I often set apart time for being with myself doing what I enjoy to do.

3.       Being productive.  If I’m not feeling happy I need to look around and see if I’m procrastinating at work.  I’ve founded that at times that is one of the reasons that makes me feel blue.  The opposite, doing my work and accomplishing deadlines (sometimes deadlines imposed by myself) brings me a sense of satisfaction, which makes me feel happy.

4.       Learning.  Every time I learn something new I feel happy.  That’s why I like to be always learning, which is a very hard to do goal.  I believe that every new truth we learn helps us to be a better person.  Helping others to learn the things I know also brings me happiness and the opportunity to learn new things.

5.       Doing good to others.  I like to believe in the ‘golden rule’ or ‘karma’.  I believe that if I do good things I will reap good things.  I believe that what we give soon or later come back.  When I find myself helping others I feel happy.  I feel happy and grateful when people offer a hand to help me.  

Grumpy Path or Happy Path? YOU Make the Decision!

Happiness: “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.”  Elizabeth Gilbert from her book entitled 'Committed:  A Love Story"


In some form or another I start my day off with a reminder to myself that being Happy is a Choice and that I intend to make that choice.  Admittedly, some days are better than others.   That is to say, some days I am happier for longer periods of time than other days.


It's been a little over a month since my last entry.  It has been surprising to me at just how many people noticed the absence of my newest entry.    As many of you know, I am in the midst of a divorce.  Not just your normal everyday amicable divorce, but the kind of divorce straight out of a season of 'Days of our Lives'  complete with death threats, attempted thievery of marital assets and, of course, corrupt attorney's.  Unfortunately, I again got sucked into the seemingly infinite abyss of 'divorce drama' the last few weeks, hence my absence from the blog.


In her book 'Eat, Pray, Love', Ms. Gilbert shares her story of divorce and reckons it with the equivalent of going through a major car accident every day for two years.  I couldn't agree with her more.


During the last twenty months of my divorce process the focus upon my happiness has taken a course from 'wouldn't it be nice if' to 'absolute determination' to be happy.  It's kind of like learning how to downhill ski for the first time.  You are going down the 'bunny slope' on your ski's and then all of a sudden your left ski starts to go left and your right ski starts to go right and your legs get further and further apart.   In this example, I would call the left ski the 'infinite abyss of divorce land' filled with daily moments of rage, anger, tears and outright hatred and on the right ski I would call it 'new chapter of my life filled with love, joy, fun, more fun, laughter and adventure.'  I want desperately for the left ski to fall off and go down to the bottom of a sharp cliff and break into a million pieces, so that I can fully enjoy where the right ski is going to take me next.  So the daily challenge is to pay as little possible attention to the left ski and focus more upon the right ski.





Today's blog is from my friend and former boss Tammy Kainer.   Tammy is one of the happiest people I know.  When I think of my time with Tammy I am hard pressed to remember a time when Tammy was angry or unhappy.  


Tammy's job was and still is Branch Manager of a mortgage company that is owned by a national home builder in Austin, Texas.   Mortgages are all about emotion.  When people go to apply for a mortgage their emotions are running high.  Feelings of hope, combined with apprehensiveness are prevalent in the mortgage center.  Tammy's team of loan officers are there to assemble the information taken from the clients and organize it into a way in which an underwriter will see all the wonderful potential that client has to pay on time for the next thirty years of their lives the payment for their home in which dreams are made, families are created, and moments with loved ones are shared.  It's kind of like writing a really good book report in which a person's entire life is dependent upon.   Tammy's job is to manage the loan officers and to make sure that each and every mortgage is being done correctly and closes on time, which is a huge feat to accomplish in today's lending marketplace filled with very strict and ultra conservative lending qualifications that are now considered the 'norm'.  On the other side of Tammy's job is the President of the home builder, who's job it is to make sure that his region sells a sufficient number of homes within a certain time period.  Tammy's department is key to accomplishing those numbers as very few people have the cash available to buy their home without obtaining a mortgage.  You could say Tammy's job is equivalent to being placed in a vice-grip everyday of her life with customers squeezing her on one side for a loan approval, the home builder squeezing her on the other side to give the loan approval, and the mortgage banks squeezing down on her to only grant to perfect human beings, which don't exist anywhere on the planet.  It would be easy for Tammy to take the grumpy road of life throughout most of her day.  But I personally can affirm to Tammy's relentless and consistent path of happiness that she walks daily in her life.  So in Tammy's own words, this is her golden key to happiness:


I am asked quite often how I can always seem so happy and smiling. I have pondered that question many times.  My husband and I have had several discussions about it over the years as he is, let's say, not as visual with his happiness than I am. We think part of it goes back to the way we were raised and the environment we were raised in. With that said I think it has a lot to do with making a choice. See, it is my belief that every day when you get up you have a choice to make. Am I going to make this a good and happy day or take the grumpy path? I also believe that if you train your mind to think happy positive thoughts that is what you attract. Now I'm no Doctor or Shrink (no offense to anyone), but I truly go through life thinking about the outcome I want in a situation and feel if I think about it hard enough, it will happen. I also feel it takes less effort to be happy and spread happiness than negativity. 


As always I look forward to your comments, which you can send to me directly or post publicly right here on the blog below this posting.  


You can follow the blog by entering in your email address on the top of this page and click 'Submit.'


Please send me your meaning of happiness to my email at cory.graunitz@gmail.com or by sending me a message on my Facebook.


I hope for you all a very fantastic and happy day!


Cory

Angels CAN Fly!

Dear Readers,


Good Morning!  I have survived yet another Holy Week here in Mexico!  Since last Monday literally  thousands of Mexican nationals descended upon the beaches here in Sayulita.  It is beautiful to see the joy and happiness as huge families and groups of friends gather to eat, drink, dance, and have lots of fun.  


I have a very wonderful friend, who in the spirit of pure generosity and love has shared the answers to the five questions on what happiness means to him.   He has chosen to use the name Anonymous T.


1. How do you find happiness?

Fundamentally speaking, I do not believe it is possible to "find" happiness, since it is a state of feeling/being produced by the "in the moment" thoughts in one's mind  in the instant present.  

2. What does happiness mean to you?

When I feel some degree of happiness.. I know all is right with myself and the universal collective conscience at that moment.  Degrees of happiness for me, fall in a continuum from a Ticklish smile to pure absolute joy with goose bumps with a total sense of contentment. 

3. Share a happy moment

For me, there are too numerous to mention, even in one day, as every moment I am grateful for recognizing a gift I have been given, I am happy. I try to stay grateful for my surrounding life elements.  But I will say, an inner sense of instant connected happiness occurs when my mind is in the present moment enough to: recognize a "love bump" from the universe, in the form of a bird, hawk, butterfly, insect, pet of any kind, tree, the wave of a palm frond,( angel wing to me), ALL acknowledging our connected existence. And I am grateful to KNOW this connection is real.

4. How do you remain happy in a happy/joyous state of mind?

Staying aware of the present  display of life surrounding you, as stated above, BY staying OUT of your daily routine thoughts of the next future moment,and the  past ones.

5. What makes you feel happy?

KNOWING, that angels can fly, because they take themselves lightly.

The Aunt Who has 'Everything'!

Good Monday Morning!


I first would like to sincerely THANK everybody who has responded so positively to my blog!  The already massive amounts of emails and calls of support has truly exceeded my expectations in the first week of The Happy Horse Chronicles.


I come from a very large family.   By that I mean my family is so large that I can barely remember the names of all of my cousins.  I secretly wish they had name tags on them at family gatherings so that I could actually remember their names.  Now many of them are having children, which makes it worse when it comes to remembering names.  In my family, nearly every weekend consists of either a birthday, a baptism, or a baby shower.  


I consider our family to be a very loving family.  Everybody greets each other with a warm hug and a kiss.  When we say our good-byes, we embrace each other in another warm hug and another kiss and say 'I love you'.  Leaving a family party can take well over 45 minutes, as the good-bye process cannot be taken lightly.  It is a ritual that must be obeyed and fulfilled or else! 


You see, when leaving a family gathering (aka party), you are not free to leave on your own free will.  You must first get clearance to leave from my aunt Lita.  Lita is our families version of Napoleon, little in stature yet very bossy.  Lita first informs you that you are not, in fact, leaving yet.  She goes on to further inquire as to where you think you may be going to after leaving the party.  Finally, if the second answer does not meet her requirements to grant you permission to leave, you're request is immediately denied and you must re-submit.  You are bound to stay at the party for at least another hour before another request to leave can be submitted through Lita.  Lita is full of love.  She is the epitomy of excitement, passion and love.  You truly haven't been kissed until you have received a big, wet, loud smack  kind of a kiss from my aunt Lita.   When Lita kisses you, you KNOW you are loved!  


My father is in charge of the timing of the good-byes.  He somehow escapes the good-bye process and sits in the car for my mother and I while we say good-bye and then gives us the full report on how long it took us to say good-bye to everybody. (which is normally in the area of 45 minutes).   He reprimands us on the length of the good-bye process and threatens to leave us next time.  He has issued these reprimands and threats for the last forty years and has yet to actually implement and fulfill the threat, so I think we are safe for the next forty years to say good-bye and express love for as long as it takes.


In recent years, most of our family gatherings have taken place at my aunt Debbie's house.  Debbie has what most people consider to have 'everything.'

A picture of me and my aunt Debbie.

Debbie lives in a custom built 3600 square foot sprawling home surrounded by about 40 acres of land.  She has a full time staff of caretakers that cater to her every desire.  Somebody cooks for her, cleans her house, takes care of her garden, runs errands for her, and chauffeurs her around town.  She doesn't even have to write a check, she has people do that for her as well.  A team of financial planners, and accountants take care of the managing of her money and the disbursement of her money to pay her bills.  She is given a large amount of money at the beginning of every month for 'spending money', to spend however she desires.  When Debbie decides to take a trip, she simply makes one phone call to her nice man that manages her money and he makes all the travel arrangements for her, arranging hotels, flights, and transportation.  She only flies first class!


But there is something that my aunt Debbie doesn't have, which is the use of her legs.  Debbie was paralyzed in a tragic work related accident when a four ton metal I-beam fell from 20 feet above her head completely severing her spinal cord,  from about the middle of her back down rendering her a paraplegic.  


Prior to Debbie's accident, I had not really been around anybody that was paralyzed.  I didn't realize all of the daily, hour by hour challenges that a paraplegic goes through day after day, hour after hour.  The process of simply getting ready in the morning turns into a team effort and a nearly two hour ordeal, if everything goes according to plan.  Transporting oneself in and out of buildings that are supposedly 'handicap accessible' turns into a 'Where's Waldo?' hunting expedition.  The utter mind numbing frustration of trying to reach for something just barely out of reach out of the kitchen cupboard could be enough to send most people over the edge of pure madness.


In 2010, Debbie went to Portugal and underwent stem cell surgery on her spinal cord in the hopes of being able to walk again.  Since the operation, Debbie has miraculously taken five steps on her own and has had two bowel movements on her own.  She has a very sophisticated gymnasium set up in her home and physical therapists that come and train her legs into functioning again.  Along with the long list of everything Debbie does have is HOPE, and a lot of it.


 In her own words, these are Debbie's feelings of happiness.


I am happy to be alive.  I am happy that I have my legs even though I am paralyzed because I know I will walk again one day.  I am happy that the Lord uses me.  I am happy that I still have a purpose to fulfill in my life being in this chair.  I am happy that I have many blessings.  I am grateful because I am truly happy from within myself.  I love myself and that is not selfish.  God said "Love thy neighbor as you love yourself." I am a good person and I have a beautiful heart.  I am happy to be an inspiration to others.  I am happy that I have my arms to play my guitar.  I'm happy to have only felt a bowel movement twice after the stem cell operation. it was still a miracle to me even if I never feel it again or ever walk again.  I'm happy that I was able to have the procedure done, I have no regrets.  I'm happy that I have exercise equipment that is helping me learn how to walk.  Whether I ever do get to walk again on my own or not, it doesn't matter to me.  I am happy to just keep trying.  I'm happy to have a large loving family, friends, and workers and trainers who help me everyday.  I'm grateful for all of them in my life.  I'm happy that my sister is clean and drug free.  I'm happy that I can forgive and be forgiven.  I'm happy that you thought of me ;-)....I'm happy to have all the people throughout my life that I have helped and who have helped me grow and to learn and to become a better person.  Even the bad experiences I am happy for, because they have helped me to grow and to learn as well.  I'm happy Jesus died for our sins.  I'm happy God loves us all.  I'm happy when we all love each other.  I'm happy when I see a yellow smiley face sticker.  I'm happy to have known all the people in my life that have past away and for our time that the Lord gave us together.  I'm happy to have you as a nephew and a friend.  I love you and that makes me happy.  I know you love me and that makes me happy.  I could go on and on because I'm so happy.  LOL!  :-)


I hope that the story of my aunt and her words of happiness help brighten your day and help you to become happier and grateful for all that you have.

Bad Hair Day

Good Morning Friends, Family and Followers,

I was planning on officially launching my blog next Monday, but I am so excited I just can't wait!

Yesterday, I sent out a handful of emails to friends, family and acquaintances and the response has been overwhelming and extremely encouraging.  

You see, I want to write a book.  The general idea is that I want to interview people from all walks of life and around the globe to find out what makes them happy and then have a page for each day of the year so that people can read that short story about what that particular person does to find happiness.  By reading about another person’s happiness my hope is that it will inspire happiness from within the reader.

The goal is to help elevate the consciousness of our planet by spreading happiness.  

So I have decided to ask people these five questions, of which they can decide which question they would like to answer:

1. "How do you find happiness?"
2.  'What does happiness mean to you?"
3.  "Please share a happy moment."
4.  "How do you remain in a happy/joyful state of mind?"
5.  "What makes you feel happy?"  

My hope is that with each answer my ultimate goal will be achieved, which is to spread happiness.  As my new friend Vance Nesbitt said "I don't know anyone who can't use more."

I, as an example, understand clearly and hold in very high regard, the extreme importance of being happy as much as I can throughout the day.  I believe it is the entire reason why we are here.  However, even with that mindset, I admit, I find it quite difficult at times to find happiness or to feel happy.  Happiness was an integral part of my healing journey, which I will be sharing throughout the book/blog as well.  So, I hope my book, which is starting out in the form of a blog, which I have decided to name 'The Happy Horse Chronicles’ will inspire others to experience happiness.

Please share openly your thoughts and suggestions and of course I want

to feature your story about happiness!

So my first entry comes from Sheryl Novak.  When I got home late last night after a long day in Puerto Vallarta of meetings and errands, I eagerly checked my email as I had been doing throughout the day to see what other surprises showed up in my inbox.  The essence of what I am trying to achieve is beautifully captured here in Sheryl's account on happiness.  I found it to be poignant, touching and joyful.

My approach to being happy every day comes from an experience I had when I was 20 years old.  


I was getting ready to go to work, and my hair didn't go the way I wanted it to.  I was frustrated, upset, and angry.  Nonetheless, I had to go to work, and didn't want to be late.  I got in my car and drove to the first stop sign.  Out came the crossing guard - a young girl perhaps 12 or 13 years of age.  She had the biggest smile and was so clearly happy as she did her job of protecting the younger children as they crossed the street in front of my car.  What made it all the more poignant was that she had no hair.  I assume she must have been going through chemo treatment.

Once they had all passed by, and reached the other side, I proceeded to the next street and pulled over to the side of the road.  I recall crying and thanking God for the amazing lesson that he had taught me that morning.

Since that day, over 28 years ago, whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, or about anything in my life, I recall that experience.  And, I remember that no matter what I may be feeling there are others that are going through so much worse than I am, and that I am truly blessed for the life that I have.

The other thing that I feel is a huge contributor to happiness is when you feel that you are in charge of your own destiny.  If you take responsibility for your actions, and you realize that you can control your own destiny (to a great degree), then it is much easier to be happy.  If you feel that the world happens to you, rather than that you are taking charge of your world, then it is much more difficult to be happy.  In essence, you create your own happiness or your own state of mind when you realize that you are ultimately in control of your life.

Sheryl owns and operates a wonderful online furniture and home accessories store in Puerto Vallarta, check out her website at www.solutionsmexico.com.

With Much Gratitude!

Cory