In some form or another I start my day off with a reminder to myself that being Happy is a Choice and that I intend to make that choice. Admittedly, some days are better than others. That is to say, some days I am happier for longer periods of time than other days.
It's been a little over a month since my last entry. It has been surprising to me at just how many people noticed the absence of my newest entry. As many of you know, I am in the midst of a divorce. Not just your normal everyday amicable divorce, but the kind of divorce straight out of a season of 'Days of our Lives' complete with death threats, attempted thievery of marital assets and, of course, corrupt attorney's. Unfortunately, I again got sucked into the seemingly infinite abyss of 'divorce drama' the last few weeks, hence my absence from the blog.
In her book 'Eat, Pray, Love', Ms. Gilbert shares her story of divorce and reckons it with the equivalent of going through a major car accident every day for two years. I couldn't agree with her more.
During the last twenty months of my divorce process the focus upon my happiness has taken a course from 'wouldn't it be nice if' to 'absolute determination' to be happy. It's kind of like learning how to downhill ski for the first time. You are going down the 'bunny slope' on your ski's and then all of a sudden your left ski starts to go left and your right ski starts to go right and your legs get further and further apart. In this example, I would call the left ski the 'infinite abyss of divorce land' filled with daily moments of rage, anger, tears and outright hatred and on the right ski I would call it 'new chapter of my life filled with love, joy, fun, more fun, laughter and adventure.' I want desperately for the left ski to fall off and go down to the bottom of a sharp cliff and break into a million pieces, so that I can fully enjoy where the right ski is going to take me next. So the daily challenge is to pay as little possible attention to the left ski and focus more upon the right ski.
Today's blog is from my friend and former boss Tammy Kainer. Tammy is one of the happiest people I know. When I think of my time with Tammy I am hard pressed to remember a time when Tammy was angry or unhappy.
Tammy's job was and still is Branch Manager of a mortgage company that is owned by a national home builder in Austin, Texas. Mortgages are all about emotion. When people go to apply for a mortgage their emotions are running high. Feelings of hope, combined with apprehensiveness are prevalent in the mortgage center. Tammy's team of loan officers are there to assemble the information taken from the clients and organize it into a way in which an underwriter will see all the wonderful potential that client has to pay on time for the next thirty years of their lives the payment for their home in which dreams are made, families are created, and moments with loved ones are shared. It's kind of like writing a really good book report in which a person's entire life is dependent upon. Tammy's job is to manage the loan officers and to make sure that each and every mortgage is being done correctly and closes on time, which is a huge feat to accomplish in today's lending marketplace filled with very strict and ultra conservative lending qualifications that are now considered the 'norm'. On the other side of Tammy's job is the President of the home builder, who's job it is to make sure that his region sells a sufficient number of homes within a certain time period. Tammy's department is key to accomplishing those numbers as very few people have the cash available to buy their home without obtaining a mortgage. You could say Tammy's job is equivalent to being placed in a vice-grip everyday of her life with customers squeezing her on one side for a loan approval, the home builder squeezing her on the other side to give the loan approval, and the mortgage banks squeezing down on her to only grant to perfect human beings, which don't exist anywhere on the planet. It would be easy for Tammy to take the grumpy road of life throughout most of her day. But I personally can affirm to Tammy's relentless and consistent path of happiness that she walks daily in her life. So in Tammy's own words, this is her golden key to happiness:
I am asked quite often how I can always seem so happy and smiling. I have pondered that question many times. My husband and I have had several discussions about it over the years as he is, let's say, not as visual with his happiness than I am. We think part of it goes back to the way we were raised and the environment we were raised in. With that said I think it has a lot to do with making a choice. See, it is my belief that every day when you get up you have a choice to make. Am I going to make this a good and happy day or take the grumpy path? I also believe that if you train your mind to think happy positive thoughts that is what you attract. Now I'm no Doctor or Shrink (no offense to anyone), but I truly go through life thinking about the outcome I want in a situation and feel if I think about it hard enough, it will happen. I also feel it takes less effort to be happy and spread happiness than negativity.
As always I look forward to your comments, which you can send to me directly or post publicly right here on the blog below this posting.
You can follow the blog by entering in your email address on the top of this page and click 'Submit.'
Please send me your meaning of happiness to my email at cory.graunitz@gmail.com or by sending me a message on my Facebook.
I hope for you all a very fantastic and happy day!
Cory
Very nice post! Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDelete